insilverscript

So! Got tired of seeing my other journal entry, plus I have a bit of news.

has hit 500 members, which makes me super happy. I've been working really hard to try and make it an active group, and I wanna give my thanks to all our wonderful members who share their art with us.

At the same time, I notice I have 53 watchers.

So I'm gonna do a little self-promoting here I promised over at there would be some sort of event when we hit 500 members. It feels a little too soon to hold another contest, so I'm gonna do a little something here.

I'm gonna have two little giveaways. First is going to happen when I hit 5k pageviews. I'm just over 3800 right now, so there's plenty of time for everybody to have a chance. Whoever gets a screenshot of themself being the 5000th pageview is gonna get a surprise (I haven't decided what it's gonna be yet.)

I'm gonna do the same thing when I hit 75 watchers, only a little differently. Once I hit 75, I'll post a journal letting everyone know, and everybody who wants to enter can comment, then I'll randomly choose one person who'll also get a surprise.

In other news, it's my birthday on Sunday! I'm super excited I'm heading down on Friday to spend the weekend with my sister and my boyfriend Chris, as well as a bunch of other friends at their college campus. There's gonna be pumpkin carving, craft shopping, and cake, so it'll pretty much be the best weekend ever.

So, few new things going on. After my frenzy of "omgI'mhomeless" my grandfather decided to be awesome and let me stay with him for a while to get back on my feet. It's about an hour north of where I was previously staying (which makes it harder to see people) but it's pretty nice up here. It's really quiet, which is actually a nice change from the last place I actually lived. I'm only now realizing how much of an effect that place had on me.

I'm surprised how much I've changed over the past few months. After realizing how miserable I was, I decided I was going to finally take an active role in my life and fight for my own happiness. I've been doing a lot of things I wouldn't normally do, and now I'm living my life for ME, not for anyone else. It really does feel amazing doing what I want, instead of what others want. It's pissed a few people off, and I do feel a little bad, but nobody else is gonna watch out for me. And you know what? For the first time in a really, really long time, I feel GOOD. I'm happy. Peaceful. I can look into the mirror and truthfully say I'm proud of the person I'm turning into. I'm not fully there, and I have some things to work out, but I'm actually making genuine progress, and it feels so damn good to be proud of myself for the first time in literally decades (and that makes me feel old.)

I can't believe I'm turning 22 next month. It's amazing; when you're younger and you want to grow up fast, people tell you to savor being a kid because you'll want it back when you grow up. I think that's partially true; I do miss being all carefree and happy and all that fun shit. But at the same time, I think most people talk themselves into growing up TOO much. Yes, you need to take responsibility for your life. Yes, there are parts of your mind that need to mature. But honestly, I think having a bit of a kid inside you is the best thing you can do. I went to the park last week and swung on the swingset for the first time in probably about ten years. It felt amazing, I actually asked myself "why haven't I done this for so long?" Apparently there's things we're not supposed to do when we get older, is what I realized. I realized that after you hit a certain age (I think it's probably around 18) people expect you to suddenly morph into an adult. After I realized this, you know what I did? I went and played on every single piece of equipment in the park, and managed to get myself very very dizzy on the merry-go-round. It was awesome.

Anyway, sorry for the ranting, I haven't gotten all philosophical for a while (I usually only do that at 3am when I can't sleep, but bedtime falls a little earlier these days).

I guess I could have eliminated those two paragraphs just by saying that I'm taking control of my own life, and not letting anyone or anything influence it in a way I don't want. It feels so good to pursue things that make me happy, and even better when they actually pay off (I'm not going too much detail here, but let's just say that I took a chance I normally would have chickened out, and certain feelings are actually reciprocated).

I've been taking a bunch of pictures up here, but the internet is a little slow, so I'm having trouble uploading them. Sometimes I'll get something that's uploaded like 92% and then it just stalls, which gets really frustrating.

So, my adventure has come to a premature stall. I say stall, because it's not an end. I twisted my bad foot pretty badly just outside Northampton, Mass (for those of you who don't know, I have a metal plate and four screws in my right foot, and a fair amount of issues with them.)

I managed to take a bus home, except I don't really have a home I'm currently staying at my grandmother's until the 12th, at which point I can't stay here any longer and I'll probably be homeless. I'm not horribly worried about it, I just thought I'd give an update.

So much to tell, so little I feel like typing.

Left for my adventure on Tuesday (well, technically Monday) walked about four days and had all kinds of cool adventures already. We've seen come cool stuff and chilled with some cool people.

Currently staying with a friend for the weekend to rest up and let my blisters heal (I have two really bad ones), probably resuming our adventure in a day or two.

So, it's been a rough few weeks at my house. Without going into too many details, my mother, her husband, and I are getting kicked out of our house because of some stupid stuff that happened.

I really don't have anywhere to go. I've decided that instead of getting depressed about it, I'm going to view this as an opportunity. I have several friends who've been walking around, traveling the US for several years, and I've always dreamed about trying it myself. I seem to have found the perfect opportunity, an old friend of mine from high school is looking for somebody to accompany him on his latest adventure.

I'm probably leaving within a week at the very latest. Working on packing a few essentials and tying up all my loose ends before I leave. I may find internet here and there (not bringing my laptop, but I have my iPod with internet) and will update with pictures whenever possible.

I can't say how excited I am to get out and do something crazy like this. So many people have tried to change my mind (actually no, only like two or three) and I'm probably going to get even more people saying I'm being selfish and stupid. You know what? I think the stupid thing would be to just keep sitting around, waiting for something to magically change and make my life better. I'm the only one who can make myself happy, I'm the only one who knows what I need.

I'll try to make another post before I leave, but no promises.

Wish me luck!

<3 you all